Reality check

I'm expecting my FIRM Express DVDs to arrive this week, so I thought this weekend would be a good time to take my "before" pics.  Today I got dressed in a sports bra and workout capris, and got dh to take a front, side, and back view of me.

What a reality check. :(

I KNOW that I'm big.  I KNOW that I have more rolls than I ever have.  And I KNOW that I'm actually clinically obese.  (Wii Fit tells me that every time I do my body test. :P )  But to see that picture... that person is ME???  It's humbling.

Today (well, technically yesterday, as it is currently 12.30am Tuesday) is Thanksgiving day here in Canada.  We went to a couple-from-church's house for dinner, and I was very careful with what I ate.  I STILL went 500 calories over for the day, because I allowed myself a butter tart, but I had had a good week DESPITE a trip to Red Robin when one of my BFFs came to town. (ACK! Mesa chicken salad is YUM, and healthy-ish, but 1000 calories!!!)  I felt ok after dinner, not over-stuffed like I usually am at the holidays.

***Note: I'd like to say here that since I am a breastfeeding mama, my daily calorie goal of 1900 might be a bit low anyway, so I'm not HUGELY concerned if I'm 100-200 calories over -- I *DO* weigh 200 lbs.  I read somewhere that in order to maintain your weight with a sedentary lifestyle, your weight in lbs x 10 is how many calories you need.  Add in breastfeeding (200-500 MORE per day), and light activity, 1900 is a pretty low amount. (but still within safe levels for milk supply.)***

Which is good.  VERY GOOD.  Because here I am uploading before pics to my profile on the FIRM Believers Club, and I'm feeling horrendous and disgusting right now.  I'm disgusted with myself mostly that I've allowed myself to get to this point.

Tomorrow I will take my measurements, and I'm sure that will be another reality check too.  The myfitnesspal.com app allows you to custom-pick which measurements you want to track, so I will be putting in the ones from the FIRM's Goal Setting article... and checking those once a month.  Realistically, knowing my history with working out and losing weight, I won't see the scale move as much as I will see those numbers on the measuring tape move, so I need to get those recorded before I start my FIRM Express DVDs.

NO MORE EXCUSES....