Breaking the stigma of milksharing - INFORMED CHOICE

Logo for my local HM4HB chapter - BC

Recently I posted a link to Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB) on my facebook wall.  I am eager to pass on the information that there is a grassroots movement out there to encourage INFORMED, mama-to-mama milksharing!  The group was recently re-named so there were a bunch of us posting the new name and new site to our walls.

Not long after I posted the link, an old friend from highschool posted on my wall: "This may be a silly question: But do people actually donate their breast milk to other moms who need it?"

And of course, I replied.  :)  Then it got me thinking, I REALLY should blog about this, because whilst my facebook wall is only viewable to my friends list, my blog is viewable to the WORLD.  Anything to get the word out!

And my reply to her was this (edited to add links, etc):

The simple answer: OH YEAH BABY! ;)

And the more complex answer (picture me getting on my soapbox...):

I'm actually in the process of giving over 100 oz of frozen milk I have to a mum in Kelowna with a baby about the same age as Riley (my youngest, he's almost 4 months old).  I've been blessed/cursed with over-supply, especially in the first 3 months post-partum, with all 3 of my boys.  This time around, within 10 days of Riley being born, I was pumping 8 to 10 oz per feed, and he was only eating 2 to 3 oz.  For me, it can be a curse, because I am unable to feed naturally without pain (unless using a breast shield) for the first couple of months.  Once my supply settles down (around the 3 to 4 month mark), I'm good to go.  This being my 3rd baby, I was feeding naturally (without shields, and without pumping) by 3 months, which was just awesome to me. :D

Conversely, with all the stresses in today's society (stress SERIOUSLY affects milk supply), limited support and education (at a grassroots level, ie: mum and aunties helping you, teaching you - which is a much better way to learn than just reading), and the "taboo" nature of breastfeeding ("ew, boobs are for sex, not food!"), some mums are finding breastfeeding nigh on impossible, at least without some supplementation.  And until more grassroots support is available (ie: we de-taboo breastfeeding, daddies understand how IMPORTANT their support is to mama, and women don't feel inadequate by discussing their issues), donated ebm is the perfect solution.

Expressed breast milk (ebm) is the BEST source of nutrition for human babies next to straight from the source.  Preemies and addict babies ESPECIALLY benefit from ebm - Jenna Elfman (aka Dharma) donated excess ebm that she had in her freezer to a couple that had adopted an addict baby -- and the drs say that the only reason that baby is now thriving is because he got that ebm from Jenna.  Neil Patrick Harris was on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson talking about getting milk from a milk bank, because his adopted daughter (one of twins) doesn't deal well with formula.

Basically, formula is either dairy or soy-based.  Soy has been proven to have high amounts of estrogen - not so good for babies (some babies even get boobies from it - boys included!!).  Dairy is made for baby cows, not baby humans.  Cows have completely different digestive tracts than humans (including FOUR STOMACHS!), so it's not surprising that MANY babies' tummies don't deal well with formula, and it causes many complications, including gas, reflux, and down the road, lactose intolerance, allergies, asthma and eczema... just to name a few.  According to the WHO, bottle feeding a baby formula is a LAST DITCH option for feeding babies, it ranks number 5, after donated ebm, wet-nursing and even feeding formula from a CUP.  And in their document, Global Strategy for Infant and Young Child Feeding, it says on Page 10: "Infants who are not breastfed, for whatever reason, should receive special attention from the health and social welfare system since they constitute a risk group."  That some pretty scary stuff, yet our western society chooses formula very nonchalantly, like it's no big deal.

Culturally, western society is having a hard time dealing with this "notion" because... ew, it's a bodily fluid!!!  Ummm, hello?  And what, pray tell, is dairy milk?  Don't get me wrong, I loooooooove milk, we go through 3 4L jugs in about a week in this house, but if I stop to think about the fact that it's a bodily fluid from a COW... yeah, I'd much rather the stuff that was MEANT to be for humans.  Salma Hayek nursed an African baby last year... but our society was collectively "grossed out" by it.  Because, ew, that's just gross, giving a baby much needed milk. :/

In the 80s, Canada had over 20 operating milk banks nationally.  Now?  ONLY ONE.  ONE, in Vancouver.  I don't know about the one in Van, but milk banks in the States CHARGE for ebm, and on one forum post I read about it, it costs about $120/day to feed a baby ebm from a milk bank.  $120 a day!!!!!

The lady behind getting HM4HB up and running (Emma Kwasnica) said something that a lot of people are quoting now: "Breastmilk is not some sort of scarce commodity; it is a free flowing resource."  There are lots of mums out there like me, who have oversupply, and have a freezer full of milk (liquid gold! ;) ) that will go bad if it's not used... so why not provide that milk for a baby that needs it?

BM has probiotics, antibodies, antifungal and antibacterial properties, and ALL the goodness a baby needs (not just SOME, it is THE PERFECT FOOD).... and if a mama is unable to give that to her baby, she should have the option available to her to give her baby ebm from another mama.  

I realise that there are mums who choose to formula feed, and that's fine, provided that they have all the information.  National recalls were going on due to contaminated formula - the companies were cutting corners to save a buck (rumours were flying that some execs KNEW about the contamination!) - and we're feeding this to our BABIES?  No worries about recall from boobie milk.  lol  Formula is a necessity, many babies would die without it, I don't deny that, but it shouldn't be the first go-to solution (and the WHO most definitely agrees!).

Okay, so maybe I should step down from my soapbox now.  ;)

Please don't EVER think any question, ESPECIALLY about breastmilk, or breastfeeding, is silly to me.  (um, and including, natural birth, home birth, etc. ;) )  THAT is where the education and support starts - when people are honest and look to expand their knowledge and make INFORMED CHOICES by asking questions.

And her response was so awesome, and the reason why I decided to blog this: 

"It is quite a concept. I have to admit, I was kind of like "ew, gross....feeding your baby someone else's milk" I'll admit it....kind of gross. But I guess the points you make are true esp. regarding the one about cow's milk being a bodily fluid! Pretty awesome that you are a milk making machine and that you can donate your milk to another mom in need. Thanks for the info....definitely something to think about :)"

I just want to say thanks to MK for prompting me to blog about this... it's information that NEEDS to be out there: parents need to know ALL the options available to them.

Soooo....

Looking for milk? Have milk to share? Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB) is a global network represented by community facebook pages for each state/province/country. These pages provide a space where families in need can connect with women who have milk to share. HM4HB affirms that human milk is the biological norm for human infants and children. HM4HB does not support the sale of human milk.

http://www.hm4hb.net

Growing, teething! OH, and a marriage seminar.

So, this adorable little bubba that I birthed less than 4 months ago is growing... and yes, teething.


His poor poor rosy cheeks from all that drool!


Teething means rough sleeps... and yeah, he's a baby, so theoretically, I should ALWAYS be having rough sleeps, right?  WRONG.  This bubba has blessed us in the way that our first bubba did too - he was already sleeping through the night when the stuffiness/teething began.  


Yes, I know, you hate me.  But HEY, in my defense, our 2nd little man, Shannon, didn't sleep through the night until he was over a year, so I've been there, done that too. 


So back to Riley.  Stuffed up, not sleeping well due to teething, AND, wait for it, he's ALSO to the point that I think he's wanting to get into regular naps, not just in between feeds, but real naps (= grumpy child until he's used to that).  That's good, actually that's GREAT, but transitions are hard.  I love this little monkey so much, but as the days go by, I'm getting more and more sure that I agree with the big man in my life, that we're done.  Three little munchkins who light up my world are good enough for this family.  


My big boys need and deserve some consistency in their lives, and if we keep introducing little ones, that consistency is a far way off.  Ri doesn't have a schedule, meaning the big boys don't really either, which is hard for them.  They're both learning to tell time, which means that they want to be able to tell when it's snack time, when it's lunch time, when it's time for a bath, etc.  It's fun, and I want to keep it fun.  But it's hard to do that when I keep changing the times associated with those activities when I have a baby who needs to go down (add 20 minutes), who needs a feed (add 20 minutes), or maybe who needs a bum/clothing change (add 3 to 5 minutes).  And I can't exactly keep Ri to the boys' schedule - when a baby needs to eat, poop, sleep, they need to do it NOW.  And while the big boys may be learning how to tell time, they still don't get the concept of "in 5 minutes," or "in half an hour."  On that note, I'm getting better at telling them "when the clock says 12:10pm, it's lunch time" instead of just saying, "sorry, honey, not right now."


Now, marriage seminar.


Don't think "BORING!"  Really, don't.  'Cause it wasn't!  Our church put on a marriage seminar called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor.  It was absolutely, mind-blowingly AWESOME.  I laughed so hard my face hurt, I cried, and I learned so much.  And Todd had just as much fun - really, he did!  


It is a "Christian" curriculum, but as Mark states in the first session: "I'm not going to beat you over the head with the Bible."  The curriculum is great for anyone, even atheists, and although he makes a couple Bible references, and references to God, he truly doesn't beat you over the head with the Bible.  Mark makes the serious topics fun and easy to learn about, and he gave us all so many "aha!" moments.


The church did it up nice too.  We got lunch and dinner on Saturday, and they even had candles going during dinner.  After each of the 4 sessions, they gave out a "prize" that we all voted on who deserved it, depending on the category.  T and I got a prize for the "least romantic honeymoon."  (We went snowboarding with friends, and I was sick, so spent the entire weekend on my own in the chalet while T was out on the slopes.  While it was kind of relaxing for me, I got to crochet and read, etc, and it was fun for Todd, it wasn't romantic in the least.)


This program was so paradigm-changing, that I truly think that this program should be in the highschools.  Well, not as a marriage seminar, but definitely covering the topics he did, like waiting for marriage for sex (which I didn't do, but wish I had), how boys and girls think differently, how we operate differently, and how KEY sex is to a healthy marriage.  Yes, he said it.  He didn't say it was just important, he said it was probably THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT to a successful marriage. There was so much to be absorbed from this weekend, and I could seriously post for days about it, but I'll leave some surprise to it for you.  Find it, and do it - whether you go to a weekend put on by your local church, or you buy the dvds online (on their site, $59.99).... make it a priority.


Another busy, but oh so fun weekend... and I wonder why time flies so stinkin' fast????  We're off for an ENT specialist appointment for Xavier's tonsils this week, as well as my niece's THIRD birthday, oh, and then it's the weekend again.  :D  So much to do, and so little time.


Hugs,
D.

Taking over the world...

One follower at a time!!!!


MWAH HA HA HA!!!


Okay, slightly psycho, yes.  But funny, no?  C'mon, you know you laughed!


Part of my bio blip is about getting used to tweeting, blogging, all these technological thingamajiggers so that I can remain a SAHM, and not rack up the debt of the century by placing my 3 kids in daycare.  So, I've started tweeting more.  I've realised that in order to be truly effective at tweeting, I need to do it more often, so I have twitter.com as one of my home pages.  (I have 8 sites that load automatically when I boot up Chrome.)  And my work is not going un-noticed... I hit 300 followers today.  Now, that might not seem like a lot... but considering that, 3 weeks ago, I had about 150 - that's not too bad!!!


Now... back to the post below, about balancing working at home with 3 boys... that big square thing is showing their favourite show right now.  We SEVERELY limit telly in our house (ooooooh, their behaviour when we don't, ie: when I'm sick, etc, is ATROCIOUS), to about 1 hour per day (sometimes less); and that is dependent on what is on.  Their two fave shows are the Backyardigans, and In the Night Garden.  So, because those shows are on at a lovely time (4pm - dinner making time!), that's their tv time.  So on days like today, when I am the SHIZNIT, and I ALREADY have din-din simmering on the stove... I have time to blog!  Woo hoo!


Another thing that will make life easier in that whole balance thing?  We are moving soon (about 2 months from now) to Vancouver (6 hours south of where we are), and we'll be squishing into (compared to now) a 3 bed unit (suite, apt, townhouse, whatever)... so I will have a desk in the living room, and be able to supervise whilst being productive at the same time.  Then it'll be easy to take a break to do the hokey pokey with my boys, and then get back at 'er.  :)


That feels good ... to have a plan in place, ya know?


Love D.

Working from home

So.

I have these 3 adorable little boys.  Hubby is a web designer, and as good as he is, is getting frustrated with trying to run his own business - he's not a salesman, so getting clients isn't easy, ESPECIALLY in this economy.  In a small town to boot!  Although he DID just get a new client yesterday, completely out of the blue.  Sooooo, he's looking to maybe get a J.O.B.  In Vancouver.  I LOVE VANCOUVER.  But from a rental perspective, it is MUCH more expensive than where we are now.

I want to bring in about $2000 per month.  I am NOT going to put my boys in daycare, for 2 big reasons: 1) I want to be home for them - I loved having my mum home, and was DEVASTATED when she went back to work after my parents split up (plus I LOVE being a sahm); and 2) to put 3 kids in daycare would cost more than what I would bring in - ummm, can we say POINTLESS?

My dilemma is not WHAT to do from home (so please don't post your links to your MLM etc.) because I am a Stampin' Up! demonstrator (hobby demo) and a I am a Melaleuca Marketing Executive (have been a customer for 12 years, and am now going to build that business)... but rather, how to manage life with 3 under 5 WHILE working from home.

Example?  Making calls while my 4yo and 2.5yo are fighting and hollering.  Doing a presentation or card class while my 3mo is gassy and/or needing to be breastfed.  You get the picture.  Especially since DH is on the phone right now while making lunch, and the 4yo is yelling "I want some lunch. I want some lunch!"  (Thank goodness it was just a mate.)

(Don't tell me I need to discipline my kids, because we're actually pretty much hard-a$$es to be honest.  But they are kids, and the 2 bigger ones are LOVING testing the limits right now.)

I don't think that some more personal attention for the big ones would go amiss, but that's also hard with a 3mo.  VERY hard.

Any suggestions?