Blog Dare Post - Convincing children....

So @TheBlogDare followed me on twitter the other day.  It's a group/initiative put on by @BloggyMoms, and it's a "dare" to do a POST A DAY for the entire year.  Oi.  I struggle to get a post a month in!  LOL.  Don't know that I'll be able to manage EVERY DAY, but I guess I can just participate as the prompts stir a post in me.


Today's prompt was: "I convinced my children to..."


hee hee.  Convincing children?  Herding cats?  Correlation?  YES.  Absolutely. :D


But... funnily enough, this IS something that happened recently.


T and I are both "attachment-minded," natural-ish parents.  That doesn't mean that we are full on, 100% crunchy hippies, but we try to be as engaged as we can as parents, and are trying to change the parenting cycle from how our parents were.  We practice co-sleeping (until they want their own space, which for our kids was fairly early), baby-wearing, breastfeeding, all 3 of our boys are intact, 2 of our 3 kids have had no vaccines (and they're the healthiest out of the 3 too!), 2 of our 3 births were 100% natural (and one at home unassisted!), and we are doing our best to change what was modeled for us both, and spend more time with our kids in a way that is going to foster their development.


I want to interject here and say that most parents in the 70s and 80s, and even 90s did what they knew, and what they were modeled or taught, so not to say that my parents were bad, it's just that they didn't know the amount of info that parents today have at their disposal... can we say "internet?"  Our generation of parents is, in a general way, far more educated about the more effective ways to parent, and raise secure, confident children.  But that doesn't mean we don't love our parents anyway.  ;)


Anyway, right now, we're reading a parenting book called "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" by Jane Nelson, Cheryl Erwin and Roslyn Ann Duffy.  There is an entire series of books in the Positive Discipline series, and in a nutshell, it's about raising children who are "responsible, respectful and resourceful."  Oh my dog.  What an amazing book.  And what a PARADIGM SHIFT for both of us.  My mum often says to me that she BEGAN to change the cycle of parenting with me and my bro, and it's my job to finish that change.  (She is SO supportive that way!)  One of my biggest battles is how much I yell.  I'm a yeller.  My mum was a yeller.  My grama was a yeller.  And I don't for a second doubt that before she had herself committed, that my great-grandma was a yeller too.  (Yes, that is part of my family history... but that's for another day.)  Frustration is a daily feeling for me.  But I'm working on it, and getting MUUUUUUCH better.  I'm not so much a yeller when dealing with the baby I'll add... somehow it's "easier" to attachment parent a baby than it is a difficult toddler, preschooler, or kindergartener. :P  


But ANYWAY.  Something in the book talked about how, even with babies, if you ask them to help you do something you are empowering them, and they will understand that, and will be more than likely to accommodate you.


Riley is teething right now.  First year molars.  YUCK.  Monday he had a low-grade fever, not enough for drugs, just warm.  By evening though, he was shaking from the fever, had puked up his dinner, and was burning up.  :/  (It was still a low fever though, not hospital-worth.)  I checked to see if it was a tooth, and nothing, so I just assumed tummy bug.  Out came the gravol and ibuprofen so that maybe he could be in less discomfort, poor bubba.  We had a rough night, up every 1.5-2 hours, and the next day, he had these two HUGE bumps on his bottom gums.  AWESOME.  (But at least it wasn't gastro!)


Anyway, when you have a grumpy, sick child, the LAST thing they want is medicine.  The first two days were fighting and messiness and stickiness and YUCK trying to get the medicine into him.  Then on Wednesday, I read the part in the book about asking even babies to "help" and empowering them.  So.... I thought, why not, let's give it a try.


"Riley, honey, can you please help mummy and take your medicine?  Mummy needs your help baby.  Will you help mummy?"


Well, string me up and call me Sally, holy crap it WORKED.  Not kidding.  He's 14 months old.  And he took his ibuprofen NO PROBLEM.


He hasn't had a lot of medicine since then, as I try not to give it to him too often, just when he's seeming really grumpy/in pain, but every time I have, since then, I've asked him to help me, and EVERY time, he has taken it with no fight.


Oh, bless you Jane Nelson et al.  BLESS YOU.


How have you managed to convince your children to do something lately?

Working from home

So.

I have these 3 adorable little boys.  Hubby is a web designer, and as good as he is, is getting frustrated with trying to run his own business - he's not a salesman, so getting clients isn't easy, ESPECIALLY in this economy.  In a small town to boot!  Although he DID just get a new client yesterday, completely out of the blue.  Sooooo, he's looking to maybe get a J.O.B.  In Vancouver.  I LOVE VANCOUVER.  But from a rental perspective, it is MUCH more expensive than where we are now.

I want to bring in about $2000 per month.  I am NOT going to put my boys in daycare, for 2 big reasons: 1) I want to be home for them - I loved having my mum home, and was DEVASTATED when she went back to work after my parents split up (plus I LOVE being a sahm); and 2) to put 3 kids in daycare would cost more than what I would bring in - ummm, can we say POINTLESS?

My dilemma is not WHAT to do from home (so please don't post your links to your MLM etc.) because I am a Stampin' Up! demonstrator (hobby demo) and a I am a Melaleuca Marketing Executive (have been a customer for 12 years, and am now going to build that business)... but rather, how to manage life with 3 under 5 WHILE working from home.

Example?  Making calls while my 4yo and 2.5yo are fighting and hollering.  Doing a presentation or card class while my 3mo is gassy and/or needing to be breastfed.  You get the picture.  Especially since DH is on the phone right now while making lunch, and the 4yo is yelling "I want some lunch. I want some lunch!"  (Thank goodness it was just a mate.)

(Don't tell me I need to discipline my kids, because we're actually pretty much hard-a$$es to be honest.  But they are kids, and the 2 bigger ones are LOVING testing the limits right now.)

I don't think that some more personal attention for the big ones would go amiss, but that's also hard with a 3mo.  VERY hard.

Any suggestions?

A sad day...

I've had a hard time stopping the tears for the last 4 hours... I'm thankful it's not due to a loss in my family, but just the same, my heart is broken for my dear friend who is going through the loss of a child.

On the evening of 5 January, a car accident occurred in NSW that left the driver and one of the 4 children in the car seriously injured.  Later that night, the 9 year old girl lost her fight.  Her auntie is still in the hospital, still in critical condition, so she needs prayers.  The other 3 kids are ok.  But Kate and Matt lost their beautiful Liv...

To pay tribute to this sweet little angel who was taken from her loving parents too soon:  she was a gorgeous redhead... shy sometimes, but others, take you off guard with how bubbly she was when she was warming up to you.  She was thoughtful and intelligent, and so so sweet.  And this all from a lady who really didn't know her all that well.  I was lucky enough to meet this gorgeous girl more than once, and lucky enough to have her over when my oldest was a newborn.  I can't imagine what they're going through right now, but Kate, if you're on the net trying to take your mind off things (as I know you do dear girl), please know that I'm shedding buckets for you, Matt and the kids, and that Liv has a special place in my heart...

Grab your kids, your parents, your brothers and sisters, your friends.  GRAB them, HOLD them, and tell them how much you love them.  Because it's not just a cliché - we really don't know how much time we have left.

Much love,

d.

ps: Kate has a blog, and just a few days ago did a lovely slideshow of pics of her kids in 2009... have a look-see over there:  The 6 of Us