Changing habits

The rule of thumb with habits, good and bad, is that it takes 40 days to make a new habit, or kill an old one.


That means forty days of being diligent, persistent, and conscientious of your actions.  Paying attention.  Being engaged with your own actions, and not just operating in a haze.  (HA!)


I'm bringing up changing habits NOW because I LOATHE the whole "New Year's Resolutions" thing.  I turn 33 this year, and I've wasted enough time in my life lamenting at how I wasn't able to keep up with my NYR this year, BUT NEXT YEAR!!!!  Good gravy.  I've been of the frame of mind, for about the last 7 or 8 years or so, that I don't do resolutions, per sé.  I do GOALS.  Why?


Because setting goals WORKS.


And my goal right now?


To change my habits.


I have a list the length of my leg of habits I'd like to change or develop, but since I'm the type of person, that in order to not get totally overwhelmed, then stressed, then have debilitating anxiety attacks, which THEN result in hideous depression - *breathe* - I have to take baby steps.  So, because 90 days seems to be "THE THING" right now (P90X, Vitality for Life, etc), and yesterday was the 1st of February, I made a commitment to develop a couple of new habits, and to COMMIT to persistence and diligence and engagement with these habits for the next 90 days.  That will take me to 30 April, 2012.  (I will then be 33. :D)  Because, realistically, I know for me, 40 days?  Probably not enough.  Besides.  GO BIG OR GO HOME. ;)  And changing a couple of actions for 90 days seems like a good enough baby step for me.


I'm really excited to see what 2012 holds for our family.  We have faced some MASSIVE adversity and challenges as a family, financially, emotionally, physically, you name it, over the last 4 years most specifically.  And I personally have battled for years with stress/anxiety, depression, and most related to being a housewife: inadequacy.  I LOGICALLY know that these feelings are bunk, but feelings don't have to make sense.  And I know that logically, in order to deal with them, I need to address my actions - and create new habits.  Hence, I'm changing habits.


I'm going to be posting in the coming weeks about my commitment, in addition to other things, and I'd love to hear what kind of things that you have committed to - either now or in the past.  What things have you battled with in your commitment?  What challenges have you faced to keeping those commitments?


Cheers,
Dinnae ;)

Blog Dare Post - Convincing children....

So @TheBlogDare followed me on twitter the other day.  It's a group/initiative put on by @BloggyMoms, and it's a "dare" to do a POST A DAY for the entire year.  Oi.  I struggle to get a post a month in!  LOL.  Don't know that I'll be able to manage EVERY DAY, but I guess I can just participate as the prompts stir a post in me.


Today's prompt was: "I convinced my children to..."


hee hee.  Convincing children?  Herding cats?  Correlation?  YES.  Absolutely. :D


But... funnily enough, this IS something that happened recently.


T and I are both "attachment-minded," natural-ish parents.  That doesn't mean that we are full on, 100% crunchy hippies, but we try to be as engaged as we can as parents, and are trying to change the parenting cycle from how our parents were.  We practice co-sleeping (until they want their own space, which for our kids was fairly early), baby-wearing, breastfeeding, all 3 of our boys are intact, 2 of our 3 kids have had no vaccines (and they're the healthiest out of the 3 too!), 2 of our 3 births were 100% natural (and one at home unassisted!), and we are doing our best to change what was modeled for us both, and spend more time with our kids in a way that is going to foster their development.


I want to interject here and say that most parents in the 70s and 80s, and even 90s did what they knew, and what they were modeled or taught, so not to say that my parents were bad, it's just that they didn't know the amount of info that parents today have at their disposal... can we say "internet?"  Our generation of parents is, in a general way, far more educated about the more effective ways to parent, and raise secure, confident children.  But that doesn't mean we don't love our parents anyway.  ;)


Anyway, right now, we're reading a parenting book called "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" by Jane Nelson, Cheryl Erwin and Roslyn Ann Duffy.  There is an entire series of books in the Positive Discipline series, and in a nutshell, it's about raising children who are "responsible, respectful and resourceful."  Oh my dog.  What an amazing book.  And what a PARADIGM SHIFT for both of us.  My mum often says to me that she BEGAN to change the cycle of parenting with me and my bro, and it's my job to finish that change.  (She is SO supportive that way!)  One of my biggest battles is how much I yell.  I'm a yeller.  My mum was a yeller.  My grama was a yeller.  And I don't for a second doubt that before she had herself committed, that my great-grandma was a yeller too.  (Yes, that is part of my family history... but that's for another day.)  Frustration is a daily feeling for me.  But I'm working on it, and getting MUUUUUUCH better.  I'm not so much a yeller when dealing with the baby I'll add... somehow it's "easier" to attachment parent a baby than it is a difficult toddler, preschooler, or kindergartener. :P  


But ANYWAY.  Something in the book talked about how, even with babies, if you ask them to help you do something you are empowering them, and they will understand that, and will be more than likely to accommodate you.


Riley is teething right now.  First year molars.  YUCK.  Monday he had a low-grade fever, not enough for drugs, just warm.  By evening though, he was shaking from the fever, had puked up his dinner, and was burning up.  :/  (It was still a low fever though, not hospital-worth.)  I checked to see if it was a tooth, and nothing, so I just assumed tummy bug.  Out came the gravol and ibuprofen so that maybe he could be in less discomfort, poor bubba.  We had a rough night, up every 1.5-2 hours, and the next day, he had these two HUGE bumps on his bottom gums.  AWESOME.  (But at least it wasn't gastro!)


Anyway, when you have a grumpy, sick child, the LAST thing they want is medicine.  The first two days were fighting and messiness and stickiness and YUCK trying to get the medicine into him.  Then on Wednesday, I read the part in the book about asking even babies to "help" and empowering them.  So.... I thought, why not, let's give it a try.


"Riley, honey, can you please help mummy and take your medicine?  Mummy needs your help baby.  Will you help mummy?"


Well, string me up and call me Sally, holy crap it WORKED.  Not kidding.  He's 14 months old.  And he took his ibuprofen NO PROBLEM.


He hasn't had a lot of medicine since then, as I try not to give it to him too often, just when he's seeming really grumpy/in pain, but every time I have, since then, I've asked him to help me, and EVERY time, he has taken it with no fight.


Oh, bless you Jane Nelson et al.  BLESS YOU.


How have you managed to convince your children to do something lately?

Coloured Rice --- soooo fun!

My tiny little pile of leftover grains of rice - this little pile made me giddy!   Look how vibrant they are!  (Except for the yellow and orange!)

At our old church in Williams Lake, there was this sensory play table with white rice and peas in it, and some animals and cups and vehicles... It was ALWAYS, WITHOUT fail, Shan's FAVOURITE place to be when he was in Sunday school.  I've wanted to have a sensory box for ages, but never got around to making it happen.  (Which is a shame, we had such an AWESOME, huge playroom in our townhouse in Williams Lake, now we are so limited space-wise!)   My brother and sister-in-law had bought the boys a Step 2 play table (with roads and train track, etc, that has a cover to make it into a great craft table) for Christmas last year.  I never set it up because we knew we were moving south, and a compact box is far easier to move than an awkward table.  I knew that I wanted to set it up so that we could have a sensory play box sit under the table when not in use, and up on the craft table when it was.  So this past summer, I bought a bag of white rice, a rubbermaid storage tote, and some bulk split peas (green and yellow), pinto beans and navy beans, to create a sensory play box for the boys.  Near the end of summer, one of the crafts the boys brought home from day camp was a picture made with coloured rice (glued, kind of like glitter).  I saw that and decided that before I would create the sensory box for them, I was going to colour the rice.  5 months later, and I finally get it done. :D  (In my defense, I only JUST got the time and space to organise the office where the table and box now live - that was my boxing day... I'll post about that later, because I am SO excited about that room!)


Last night I googled "how to dye rice," and came up with a bunch of results.  They were all similar: food colouring, liquid, and either a bag or a bowl.  I tried two different methods (out of necessity, due to my different food colourings), and I thought I'd share what worked for me and what didn't.


Food colouring
Options I saw were Koolaid (would smell yummy, but you would HAVE to use the mix that does NOT have the sugar in it), normal liquid food colouring (from the supermarket), gel food colouring, water colour paint.  Try and get the gel icing colouring from Michael's or JoAnn, or some other craft store (they usually do NOT sell them in the supermarket - I've tried looking).  I used regular food colouring for yellow and orange (blended yellow and red together), and to say it nicely, the colours just don't pop.  Bluntly?  They're DRAB.  Very light.  So drab that in the mix in the tote, they both look almost like there is no colour to them.  In the gel colouring (I have Wilton brand), I used black, green, blue and red, and the colours are SO VIBRANT!  I did not try Koolaid or water colour paint.  From what I saw online, the Koolaid does not dye very bright (kind of pastel-y), and I guess the water colour or tempera paint would be ok too?


Liquid
Options I found were rubbing alcohol, white vinegar, and water.  I did not try the vinegar.  The theory with using alcohol would be that it would dry very fast.  One would think.  WRONG.  The 3 that I did with straight alcohol took FOREVER to dry, and I had to spread them out on papertowels to dry.  The one that I did a mix of (not on purpose), dried ok, but the straight water dried SO FAST.  I didn't even have to dump it out.  I just mixed it every 10 minutes, and it prevented it from getting too hard.  My theory about that is that the water didn't need to evaporate, it was just absorbed by the rice.  But it was such a small amount, that it didn't affect the rice.  (1/4 cup to 6 cups rice.)  ***NOTE*** Alcohol does NOT work with gel food colouring.  I found that out the hard way.  For whatever reason, it made the gel solidify into this hard, almost wax crayon/oil pastel like substance. O_o  If you decide to go the alcohol route (which will make you cough, believe me), use NORMAL food colouring.


Method of mixing
I saw it done in a quart canning jar, ziploc bags, and bowls.  I used bowls with a wooden spoon, and it did the trick.  More space than a quart jar (I did huge batches), and less wasteful than baggies.  It was also very gratifying to mix and watch the colours change, rather than just shake the crap out of it.  PLUS, I didn't need to dump it out to dry it, I just kept stirring every 10 minutes (with the water ones).


So, without further ado, here's MY recipe. :D

7 colours of rice, yellow and green split peas, navy and pinto beans = fun fun fun!

How to dye rice


What you need:

• 1/4 cup water
• 1/4 tsp gel food colouring (or more if wanted)
• large bowl
• wooden spoon
• 6 cups white rice
• a few drops of essential oil (optional)

Pour your water into a small bowl, or even a half cup measure.  Put your gel food colouring in the water, and mix it in well to dilute it.  This is where you are going to decide how dark/vibrant your colour will be.  Continue to add more colour if desired.  Just remember that once you add the rice, with gel colouring you can't really add more, as it wouldn't spread well.  You COULD use normal food colouring to get more colour if you wanted it, but you're better off adding another 1/4-1/2 tsp gel food colouring at this point.  (Note: I used the back of my spoon to make it dilute faster, next time I might use a hand blender to get all the gel pieces pulverised.)  Pour your colour mix into your large bowl.  This is the point you would add the essential oil if you wanted to make it smell good.  Lavender and sweet orange would be really nice, and both are good for kids.


Measure 6 cups of rice into your bowl.  Mix with your wooden spoon.  Mix WELL.  Make sure you have no unused colour mix in the bottom of your bowl, and that your rice is fairly evenly coloured. You will hear the rice start to snap and pop (like Rice Krispies!) when it starts to dry, that is normal.  Just keep stirring it every 5-10 minutes to prevent it from forming into a rock.  That said, I DID forget, and came back - I was able to break apart the "rock" with my hands, no biggie.  It was actually kind of fun.  :D

From top left (clockwise): red - using alcohol and water combined/gel and regular food colouring,
orange - using alcohol and regular food colouring,
purple - water and gel food colouring,
black - water and alcohol and gel food colouring,
blue - water and gel food colouring,
green - water and gel food colouring,
middle: yellow - alcohol and regular food colouring.
The colours look so much more vibrant in this pic because I used the Camera+ app to take it, and the "vibrant" filter - the yellow and orange especially do NOT look that vibrant in real life - the others aren't too different.

I made seven colours: yellow, orange, red, purple, blue, green and black.  I kept aside 2 cups of each colour  to use in crafts, and together with the boys, I put the other 4 cups of each into the sensory box/bin/tote (whatever! LOL).  In our box, we also put 4 cups each of the other bulk items I bought (yellow and green split peas, pinto and navy beans).  They had so much fun measuring each colour/item out, that the process of "building" our sensory box was in and of itself a fantastic activity.  The had a BLAST burying my arms and hands (and each other's!) in the colourful mix.  And it felt SO cool. :)

Burying mummy's arms in rice and beans

Do YOU have a sensory play box for your child(ren)?  What do you put in it?  Do you change it up?

Emotional eating

I've always known that I eat when I'm bored. I've ALWAYS done it, I'm a late-night snacker, and I have a HORRENDOUS sweet tooth. (I am very into holistic nutrition, and I have NO DOUBT that I have some bad yeastie-beasties in my gut. :/ )


And, I've SUSPECTED I was an emotional eater, but really haven't taken a close look at when I eat, besides the time of day.


Last week I had a *ROUGH* one. My little one is teething and growing, so his immune system is down, and he caught a cold. Stuffed up babies don't sleep so well. Meaning? Mummies don't sleep so well either. Daddy ended up on the couch for 2 of the nights this week, and me and Ri ended up getting not enough sleep. When I'm tired, I'm grumpy, I'm cranky, I truly am a bear. And I can be mean. It makes me sad and depressed, I feel guilty, and guess what? I eat. :(


As you may know, I have been experimenting a lot with baking bread and snacks for the man. Store-bought bread and snacks that are gluten free are heinously expensive, and usually taste like a$$. We spent $8 on a box of 5 nutri-grain-type bars 6 months ago, and we each took ONE BITE and threw the whole rest of the bar and box in the rubbish - they were THAT BAD. O_o But I digress. 


I had bought a package mix (very unlike me, I'm a from-scratch kinda girl) of brownie mix, by Bob's Red Mill, to bake for him. The brownie on its own is actually very benign, but of course, chocoholic that I am, I HAVE to make the topping. Did you know that sweetened condensed milk is ALSO actually quite benign on its own in moderation? But that chocolate chips are, like, 3/4 FAT???!??!!! Anyway, I had these grand intentions of having one a day, to allow myself something sweet (so I don't binge)... but because of the rough days, I OF COURSE ended up having MORE than one each day. And EACH TIME I had more than one, the 2nd went down the hatch RIGHT AFTER having a blow up at my kids. :(


I bought myself some carrots and some other veggies to snack on, but when I'm sad/depressed/bummed, it's not the actual ACT of eating that consoles me - it's the sugar. It is my only vice. And when I'm down, I need a "hit." (LOL!) I have to deal with my sugar addiction, but... baby steps. In the meantime, I need to think of achievable ways that I can circumvent my cravings, by maybe tricking my body into thinking that I'm having some crazy rich awesomeness. I have thought about buying a flat of coke zero too, but not for an always thing, just for those days of craziness: a coke zero is MUCH better than 640 cal and 14g of fat in brownie.... O_o


Do YOU have a bad sweet tooth? How do you, besides cold turkey, ;) deal with it without going into DETOX? Are you an emotional eater? 

Why SEEING breastfeeding is important: My personal challenge to you

*** NOTE: ***

This entire post was written and composed by Emma Kwasnica.  Unfortunately, this amazing, talented chica isn't blogging *yet,* so I'm posting it here to help get it out there... It was originally posted as a note on Faceboob that you can see here: http://www.facebook.com/notes/emma-kwasnica/why-seeing-breastfeeding-is-important-my-personal-challenge-to-you/436431689914

* If you wish to re-post this, please do! (But please remember to credit Emma!!)

* If you wish to TWEET THIS, FB SHARE THIS, please, please do!!!

And I sincerely hope you enjoy what this passionate woman has to say. :)

Why SEEING breastfeeding is important: My personal challenge to you

I'd just like to talk a bit about the bigger picture here for a moment, in that by Facebook taking this stance against breastfeeding images, and by creating such arbitrary obscenity guidelines as "no exposed areola or nipple may be shown" (I have seen many, many women whose areola covers up to a third or more of their entire breast - a baby's mouth could never come close to "covering" it all!), it is stigmatizing breastfeeding women, and shaming women into thinking that their breasts are much, much less than the amazing life-giving source they are. Nipplephobia has reached epic proportions here in North America, and this is to the supreme detriment of babies everywhere.

Just think for one moment, how many more women would breastfeed, or for how much longer, if only we rid society of the harmful practice of over-sexualizing women's breasts! And how much this, in turn, could benefit the BABIES. For whose voice do the most vulnerable members of society have, if not ours? Interestingly, we find cultures around the world where women's breasts are seen *only* in their functioning capacity, i.e., that of nourishing and comforting their young. I believe that we can get there, too (or at least try to find some balance), but we have to start somewhere, and I truly feel that there is never any harm to come from challenging the status quo (you're not surprised, I know ;-) ).

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: as a childbirth professional, but also as a woman, in general, it is absolutely crucial that one support ALL women to breastfeed their young. While you, personally, may have your own code of "decency" for how much skin YOU are comfortable showing while breastfeeding, it is important that you do not impose your own, completely arbitrary line drawn in the sand regarding "modesty" or "discreetness", onto any other breastfeeding mother. Period. Just like a woman who wants to cover up should be supported (and generally IS in our society....), we need to support those women who struggle --or those women who do not want, or care-- to cover their baby and their breast, and make life simpler for these women to, first and foremost, feed and comfort the baby!

Quite simply, this is about normalizing breastfeeding. The more we hide it away, classify it as obscene, shame mothers into covering up while feeding, and encourage women to retire to "private" rooms in order to breastfeed the baby, the less we see of it in public, and the less and less people are comfortable with the very idea of nursing in public. This is the sad reality of this pathologically hyper-sexualized (yet sexually repressed...) North American culture of ours. The solution, however, seems quite simple to me; breastfeeding (and/or images of breastfeeding) need to be seen every day, and I am convinced that SEEING more breastfeeding, wherever possible, is what will change our breastfeeding culture. Re-normalize it. Everywhere in North America (in all provinces in Canada, and in every state in the USA but two) women have the right to breastfeed in public, wherever they have the legal right to be. So women should do it. And they should feel completely free to do it. Lots of it. As much as possible.

If you want to be a part of the solution, here is one, simple thing you can do, each and every time you see a mother breastfeeding her baby in public : yes, give her a great, big smile, but don't stop there --go right *up* to her, and tell her what a wonderful thing she is doing for her child. I guarantee you, that if we all did even this simple gesture every time we saw a woman nursing in public, the tides would begin to turn.

I would also like to suggest in your daily life (outside the 'net), that you get out there and nurse your children in public. And do so with a huge smile across your face. Pretty hard for onlookers to say, feel, or do something negative in the face of a beaming, breastfeeding mother --n'est-ce pas?

Breastfeeding is normal. Normal. NORMAL. Say it, do it, show it.

Will you start by doing these simple acts right today? Indeed, I challenge you.

Warm regards,
~Emma Kwasnica


 
Emma Kwasnica & her family at the 2008 Montréal Breastfeeding Challenge. This photo and article were published in Le Journal de Montréal, a major daily francophone newspaper. If a North American city of 2.5 million can handle this in their daily paper, why can't Facebook? (oh, and before you pass inane judgment, and tell me these kids are "too old to nurse", please read this and get educated/get your head out of the gutter :http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html)


 
2010 Breastfeeding Challenge - notice the 11-month-old Would. Not. Latch. Not for the world. TOO DISTRACTED.

 
Mama love ~ nursing Sophie is such a joy

 
March, 2006 -- HOORAY FOR TODDLER NURSING (. Y .) (. Y .) (. Y .) Bitter sweet. My girlfriends and I and our three nurslings, just prior to our sudden and UNEXPECTED departure from Toulouse back to Canada (due to a stoopid competition clause kerfuffle with Seb's work at IBM). Christel, Christelle, and I found one another through our local LLL group. Our babies are around the same age and grew up around one another from 12mo through to 2.5yo (when we left Toulouse). There is nothing like finding yourself a like-minded "tribe" of mama friends who totally "get" one another. I will forever cherish being in the company of these two women and their babies, as I muddled my *own* way through, slowly but surely developing into the fierce mother I am today. Love you, girls ! xx

 
Montréal Breastfeeding Challenge 2009 "in the park". Torrential downpour for the event, but that didn't stop us "hardcore breastfeeders" from going ahead with our plans. I am 42 weeks pregnant with Chloë *to the day* in this photo; Sophie (2.5 y/o) nursing on cue for the official latch-on at 11am. Labour had, indeed, begun just a few hours prior to this moment, but I literally psyched myself out, and contractions petered right out at around 3am, because there was no way I could miss the Breastfeeding Challenge in front of my own house in the morning ! (Photo courtesy of Rowan Smith) http://www.montrealgazette.com/health/Breastfeeding%20event%20zapped%20H1N1%20fears/2056459/story.html

 
This photo was deleted by the "powers that be" of Facebook on Friday, July 16th. I've just re-uploaded it now. I do wonder if it is precisely BECAUSE my breasts are not being used to titillate men in this photo that it was found to be so offensive, offensive enough to be deleted. I mean, here is this nice-looking woman, hair done, wearing a somewhat dressy, funky, black top... looks like she could be heading out for a night on the town, right ? And instead of seeing her breasts all smooshed up into a push-up bra and a large line of cleavage displayed for all the hot-blooded men to ogle, we see a baby suckling at her breast. Could utter RAGE be the response on the part of (some) men looking at this photo ? On the part of the button-pushers behind their screens at Facebook, those who are deleting the photos, those who are responsible for insuring Facebook remains pure from all this sort of "filth" ? As ludicrous as this might seem, could they be feeling denied by the space occupied by this tiny infant EATING at my breast ? Disgusted by it ? I am devastated that our culture has done this to us, given us this mental disorder. But it has a name (Nipplephobia), and there is hope out there for people with it (therapy). Nipplephobia *can* be overcome; a large part of the therapy includes seeing more and more women breastfeeding their children, seeing more and more breasts EVERYWHERE, being bombarded by the image of breasts being used in their biological context --that of nourishing a child. I highly recommend you try it. It's also why I post the dozens and dozens of breastfeeding photos that I do, here on Facebook. Look at them. Over and over again. Please. It will do a world of good... 
********************************** Facebook warning Hello, You uploaded a photo that violates our Terms of Use, and this photo has been removed. Facebook does not allow photos that attack an individual or group, or that contain nudity, drug use, violence, or other violations of the Terms of Use. These policies are designed to ensure Facebook remains a safe, secure and trusted environment for all users, including the many children who use the site. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page at http://www.facebook.com/help/?topic=wphotos. The Facebook Team








 
October 2010 -- The crazy-eyed lactivist strikes again. (I just put this sign up on my fridge, at home)


 
Nursing Sophie ~ 3 years, 11 months old

Breaking the stigma of milksharing - INFORMED CHOICE

Logo for my local HM4HB chapter - BC

Recently I posted a link to Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB) on my facebook wall.  I am eager to pass on the information that there is a grassroots movement out there to encourage INFORMED, mama-to-mama milksharing!  The group was recently re-named so there were a bunch of us posting the new name and new site to our walls.

Not long after I posted the link, an old friend from highschool posted on my wall: "This may be a silly question: But do people actually donate their breast milk to other moms who need it?"

And of course, I replied.  :)  Then it got me thinking, I REALLY should blog about this, because whilst my facebook wall is only viewable to my friends list, my blog is viewable to the WORLD.  Anything to get the word out!

And my reply to her was this (edited to add links, etc):

The simple answer: OH YEAH BABY! ;)

And the more complex answer (picture me getting on my soapbox...):

I'm actually in the process of giving over 100 oz of frozen milk I have to a mum in Kelowna with a baby about the same age as Riley (my youngest, he's almost 4 months old).  I've been blessed/cursed with over-supply, especially in the first 3 months post-partum, with all 3 of my boys.  This time around, within 10 days of Riley being born, I was pumping 8 to 10 oz per feed, and he was only eating 2 to 3 oz.  For me, it can be a curse, because I am unable to feed naturally without pain (unless using a breast shield) for the first couple of months.  Once my supply settles down (around the 3 to 4 month mark), I'm good to go.  This being my 3rd baby, I was feeding naturally (without shields, and without pumping) by 3 months, which was just awesome to me. :D

Conversely, with all the stresses in today's society (stress SERIOUSLY affects milk supply), limited support and education (at a grassroots level, ie: mum and aunties helping you, teaching you - which is a much better way to learn than just reading), and the "taboo" nature of breastfeeding ("ew, boobs are for sex, not food!"), some mums are finding breastfeeding nigh on impossible, at least without some supplementation.  And until more grassroots support is available (ie: we de-taboo breastfeeding, daddies understand how IMPORTANT their support is to mama, and women don't feel inadequate by discussing their issues), donated ebm is the perfect solution.

Expressed breast milk (ebm) is the BEST source of nutrition for human babies next to straight from the source.  Preemies and addict babies ESPECIALLY benefit from ebm - Jenna Elfman (aka Dharma) donated excess ebm that she had in her freezer to a couple that had adopted an addict baby -- and the drs say that the only reason that baby is now thriving is because he got that ebm from Jenna.  Neil Patrick Harris was on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson talking about getting milk from a milk bank, because his adopted daughter (one of twins) doesn't deal well with formula.

Basically, formula is either dairy or soy-based.  Soy has been proven to have high amounts of estrogen - not so good for babies (some babies even get boobies from it - boys included!!).  Dairy is made for baby cows, not baby humans.  Cows have completely different digestive tracts than humans (including FOUR STOMACHS!), so it's not surprising that MANY babies' tummies don't deal well with formula, and it causes many complications, including gas, reflux, and down the road, lactose intolerance, allergies, asthma and eczema... just to name a few.  According to the WHO, bottle feeding a baby formula is a LAST DITCH option for feeding babies, it ranks number 5, after donated ebm, wet-nursing and even feeding formula from a CUP.  And in their document, Global Strategy for Infant and Young Child Feeding, it says on Page 10: "Infants who are not breastfed, for whatever reason, should receive special attention from the health and social welfare system since they constitute a risk group."  That some pretty scary stuff, yet our western society chooses formula very nonchalantly, like it's no big deal.

Culturally, western society is having a hard time dealing with this "notion" because... ew, it's a bodily fluid!!!  Ummm, hello?  And what, pray tell, is dairy milk?  Don't get me wrong, I loooooooove milk, we go through 3 4L jugs in about a week in this house, but if I stop to think about the fact that it's a bodily fluid from a COW... yeah, I'd much rather the stuff that was MEANT to be for humans.  Salma Hayek nursed an African baby last year... but our society was collectively "grossed out" by it.  Because, ew, that's just gross, giving a baby much needed milk. :/

In the 80s, Canada had over 20 operating milk banks nationally.  Now?  ONLY ONE.  ONE, in Vancouver.  I don't know about the one in Van, but milk banks in the States CHARGE for ebm, and on one forum post I read about it, it costs about $120/day to feed a baby ebm from a milk bank.  $120 a day!!!!!

The lady behind getting HM4HB up and running (Emma Kwasnica) said something that a lot of people are quoting now: "Breastmilk is not some sort of scarce commodity; it is a free flowing resource."  There are lots of mums out there like me, who have oversupply, and have a freezer full of milk (liquid gold! ;) ) that will go bad if it's not used... so why not provide that milk for a baby that needs it?

BM has probiotics, antibodies, antifungal and antibacterial properties, and ALL the goodness a baby needs (not just SOME, it is THE PERFECT FOOD).... and if a mama is unable to give that to her baby, she should have the option available to her to give her baby ebm from another mama.  

I realise that there are mums who choose to formula feed, and that's fine, provided that they have all the information.  National recalls were going on due to contaminated formula - the companies were cutting corners to save a buck (rumours were flying that some execs KNEW about the contamination!) - and we're feeding this to our BABIES?  No worries about recall from boobie milk.  lol  Formula is a necessity, many babies would die without it, I don't deny that, but it shouldn't be the first go-to solution (and the WHO most definitely agrees!).

Okay, so maybe I should step down from my soapbox now.  ;)

Please don't EVER think any question, ESPECIALLY about breastmilk, or breastfeeding, is silly to me.  (um, and including, natural birth, home birth, etc. ;) )  THAT is where the education and support starts - when people are honest and look to expand their knowledge and make INFORMED CHOICES by asking questions.

And her response was so awesome, and the reason why I decided to blog this: 

"It is quite a concept. I have to admit, I was kind of like "ew, gross....feeding your baby someone else's milk" I'll admit it....kind of gross. But I guess the points you make are true esp. regarding the one about cow's milk being a bodily fluid! Pretty awesome that you are a milk making machine and that you can donate your milk to another mom in need. Thanks for the info....definitely something to think about :)"

I just want to say thanks to MK for prompting me to blog about this... it's information that NEEDS to be out there: parents need to know ALL the options available to them.

Soooo....

Looking for milk? Have milk to share? Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB) is a global network represented by community facebook pages for each state/province/country. These pages provide a space where families in need can connect with women who have milk to share. HM4HB affirms that human milk is the biological norm for human infants and children. HM4HB does not support the sale of human milk.

http://www.hm4hb.net

Growing, teething! OH, and a marriage seminar.

So, this adorable little bubba that I birthed less than 4 months ago is growing... and yes, teething.


His poor poor rosy cheeks from all that drool!


Teething means rough sleeps... and yeah, he's a baby, so theoretically, I should ALWAYS be having rough sleeps, right?  WRONG.  This bubba has blessed us in the way that our first bubba did too - he was already sleeping through the night when the stuffiness/teething began.  


Yes, I know, you hate me.  But HEY, in my defense, our 2nd little man, Shannon, didn't sleep through the night until he was over a year, so I've been there, done that too. 


So back to Riley.  Stuffed up, not sleeping well due to teething, AND, wait for it, he's ALSO to the point that I think he's wanting to get into regular naps, not just in between feeds, but real naps (= grumpy child until he's used to that).  That's good, actually that's GREAT, but transitions are hard.  I love this little monkey so much, but as the days go by, I'm getting more and more sure that I agree with the big man in my life, that we're done.  Three little munchkins who light up my world are good enough for this family.  


My big boys need and deserve some consistency in their lives, and if we keep introducing little ones, that consistency is a far way off.  Ri doesn't have a schedule, meaning the big boys don't really either, which is hard for them.  They're both learning to tell time, which means that they want to be able to tell when it's snack time, when it's lunch time, when it's time for a bath, etc.  It's fun, and I want to keep it fun.  But it's hard to do that when I keep changing the times associated with those activities when I have a baby who needs to go down (add 20 minutes), who needs a feed (add 20 minutes), or maybe who needs a bum/clothing change (add 3 to 5 minutes).  And I can't exactly keep Ri to the boys' schedule - when a baby needs to eat, poop, sleep, they need to do it NOW.  And while the big boys may be learning how to tell time, they still don't get the concept of "in 5 minutes," or "in half an hour."  On that note, I'm getting better at telling them "when the clock says 12:10pm, it's lunch time" instead of just saying, "sorry, honey, not right now."


Now, marriage seminar.


Don't think "BORING!"  Really, don't.  'Cause it wasn't!  Our church put on a marriage seminar called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor.  It was absolutely, mind-blowingly AWESOME.  I laughed so hard my face hurt, I cried, and I learned so much.  And Todd had just as much fun - really, he did!  


It is a "Christian" curriculum, but as Mark states in the first session: "I'm not going to beat you over the head with the Bible."  The curriculum is great for anyone, even atheists, and although he makes a couple Bible references, and references to God, he truly doesn't beat you over the head with the Bible.  Mark makes the serious topics fun and easy to learn about, and he gave us all so many "aha!" moments.


The church did it up nice too.  We got lunch and dinner on Saturday, and they even had candles going during dinner.  After each of the 4 sessions, they gave out a "prize" that we all voted on who deserved it, depending on the category.  T and I got a prize for the "least romantic honeymoon."  (We went snowboarding with friends, and I was sick, so spent the entire weekend on my own in the chalet while T was out on the slopes.  While it was kind of relaxing for me, I got to crochet and read, etc, and it was fun for Todd, it wasn't romantic in the least.)


This program was so paradigm-changing, that I truly think that this program should be in the highschools.  Well, not as a marriage seminar, but definitely covering the topics he did, like waiting for marriage for sex (which I didn't do, but wish I had), how boys and girls think differently, how we operate differently, and how KEY sex is to a healthy marriage.  Yes, he said it.  He didn't say it was just important, he said it was probably THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT to a successful marriage. There was so much to be absorbed from this weekend, and I could seriously post for days about it, but I'll leave some surprise to it for you.  Find it, and do it - whether you go to a weekend put on by your local church, or you buy the dvds online (on their site, $59.99).... make it a priority.


Another busy, but oh so fun weekend... and I wonder why time flies so stinkin' fast????  We're off for an ENT specialist appointment for Xavier's tonsils this week, as well as my niece's THIRD birthday, oh, and then it's the weekend again.  :D  So much to do, and so little time.


Hugs,
D.

Taking over the world...

One follower at a time!!!!


MWAH HA HA HA!!!


Okay, slightly psycho, yes.  But funny, no?  C'mon, you know you laughed!


Part of my bio blip is about getting used to tweeting, blogging, all these technological thingamajiggers so that I can remain a SAHM, and not rack up the debt of the century by placing my 3 kids in daycare.  So, I've started tweeting more.  I've realised that in order to be truly effective at tweeting, I need to do it more often, so I have twitter.com as one of my home pages.  (I have 8 sites that load automatically when I boot up Chrome.)  And my work is not going un-noticed... I hit 300 followers today.  Now, that might not seem like a lot... but considering that, 3 weeks ago, I had about 150 - that's not too bad!!!


Now... back to the post below, about balancing working at home with 3 boys... that big square thing is showing their favourite show right now.  We SEVERELY limit telly in our house (ooooooh, their behaviour when we don't, ie: when I'm sick, etc, is ATROCIOUS), to about 1 hour per day (sometimes less); and that is dependent on what is on.  Their two fave shows are the Backyardigans, and In the Night Garden.  So, because those shows are on at a lovely time (4pm - dinner making time!), that's their tv time.  So on days like today, when I am the SHIZNIT, and I ALREADY have din-din simmering on the stove... I have time to blog!  Woo hoo!


Another thing that will make life easier in that whole balance thing?  We are moving soon (about 2 months from now) to Vancouver (6 hours south of where we are), and we'll be squishing into (compared to now) a 3 bed unit (suite, apt, townhouse, whatever)... so I will have a desk in the living room, and be able to supervise whilst being productive at the same time.  Then it'll be easy to take a break to do the hokey pokey with my boys, and then get back at 'er.  :)


That feels good ... to have a plan in place, ya know?


Love D.

Working from home

So.

I have these 3 adorable little boys.  Hubby is a web designer, and as good as he is, is getting frustrated with trying to run his own business - he's not a salesman, so getting clients isn't easy, ESPECIALLY in this economy.  In a small town to boot!  Although he DID just get a new client yesterday, completely out of the blue.  Sooooo, he's looking to maybe get a J.O.B.  In Vancouver.  I LOVE VANCOUVER.  But from a rental perspective, it is MUCH more expensive than where we are now.

I want to bring in about $2000 per month.  I am NOT going to put my boys in daycare, for 2 big reasons: 1) I want to be home for them - I loved having my mum home, and was DEVASTATED when she went back to work after my parents split up (plus I LOVE being a sahm); and 2) to put 3 kids in daycare would cost more than what I would bring in - ummm, can we say POINTLESS?

My dilemma is not WHAT to do from home (so please don't post your links to your MLM etc.) because I am a Stampin' Up! demonstrator (hobby demo) and a I am a Melaleuca Marketing Executive (have been a customer for 12 years, and am now going to build that business)... but rather, how to manage life with 3 under 5 WHILE working from home.

Example?  Making calls while my 4yo and 2.5yo are fighting and hollering.  Doing a presentation or card class while my 3mo is gassy and/or needing to be breastfed.  You get the picture.  Especially since DH is on the phone right now while making lunch, and the 4yo is yelling "I want some lunch. I want some lunch!"  (Thank goodness it was just a mate.)

(Don't tell me I need to discipline my kids, because we're actually pretty much hard-a$$es to be honest.  But they are kids, and the 2 bigger ones are LOVING testing the limits right now.)

I don't think that some more personal attention for the big ones would go amiss, but that's also hard with a 3mo.  VERY hard.

Any suggestions?

Riley Morgan's birth story

This is the story of Riley's arrival into the world on 12 November, 2010 - my much wanted, much hoped for home water birth; my 3rd labour and birth.


My husband and I started trying to conceive the month we got married - July 2005... and in that process, I obsessed a bit - a birth junkie was born.  Not long after, I "discovered" the concept of home birth, and consequently, water birth, and decided that I wanted both.  I get pretty bad back pain during my period, so I knew that back labour would probably be something that I would have to contend with, and I knew that water helped immensely with back labour.  (Little did I know how well!!)  My first two labours/births were neither at home, nor was water really involved.  Those two stories are for another time, because they are both interesting in their own rights.  So, when I finally got my home water birth, it was over FIVE YEARS that it had been in my heart and something that I was passionate about.  Now, because I AM so passionate about this, and because it WAS such an amazing experience... this story is long, but I hope you'll find it worth the read.


IMMEDIATELY after finding out that I was pregnant with my 3rd child, I went about finding out if there was a midwife in town... which, to my dismay, there was not.  In Australia, where I'd given birth to my first two boys, we lived in Melbourne, and had access to many midwives, and an entirely different system with how pregnancy and birth are "dealt with."  Here in semi-rural BC, in a country where midwifery isn't as prolific as it should be, the midwifery shortage is much more apparent to me than it was in Urban Victoria, Australia.  


To paint a picture, home birth IS covered by Medicare (again, here in BC), with a certified midwife... but if you don't have a midwife, then your only option for a home birth is UC (Unassisted Childbirth), which has a very broad meaning.  Some take it that there is NO ONE but mama present... but that is rare.  Most understand that unassisted generally means MEDICALLY unassisted - meaning that there is no medical professional present at the birth.  At first, I was extremely adverse to the thought, and when I emailed two friends about my situation, both suggested UC.  Initially that came as a surprise to me (since one has been a midwife for over 20 years, and the other is an aspiring midwife), but after some thought, I realised that they both knew that having already done this twice, I'd be fine... I just needed to figure that out myself.  


I came into contact with 2 possibilities that would make a UC not necessary, but for whatever reason, NEITHER of those options panned out... and I took those as signs that THIS was what I was supposed to do: an unassisted home birth.  I was confident that things would go as our bodies were designed to make them go, and that my husband and the 3 friends who I'd asked to help out would be more than enough support to get things done.  I'm a Christ-follower, and very very confident in the knowledge that my body was created to birth babies, as women have been doing for EONS... and that faith kept me strong in the face of adversity (and believe me, it was THERE).  I finally came to the realisation that because I'd done this twice before, I'm practically old hat at this, pffft!


Because of the adversity that was there, hubby and I had some serious discussions about the "what ifs."  Todd was confident in my knowledge, my own confidence and faith in my body and this process, but his biggest issue lay in the fact that IF things got hairy, he wasn't confident that he could get my knowledge out of my head, if, say, I was in transition, not able to focus, etc.  He feared being the one responsible when it could possibly be my life and the life of our baby on the line.  AND, because he knew how bad I wanted this home water birth, he feared that my view would be clouded, and I'd be too stubborn to go to the hospital if something DID go awry.  So, we made a decision to be UNDECIDED - no definite, in-stone plan, but two strong options: hospital or home.... and we were prepared for both.  I printed out a birth plan to take to the hospital with us, along with a packing list of things to put in the bag.  We had our Aquaborn birth pool, and had purchased a home birth kit.  We were set either way.  And I promised Todd that if, at any point, he felt uncomfortable with the direction things were going, I would agree to go to the hospital.  And obviously, if at any point I felt we needed to go, we'd go.  Barring that, I'd labour at home as long as possible, to spend as much time as possible in the pool, because we knew our hospital wouldn't allow us to bring it in.  This decision to be undecided gave us both peace (surprisingly!), and our journey to that decision made our relationship that much stronger.

Belly henna - done by Jesse (my photographer during the birth  - she's an awesome multi-purpose gal!)
There are 2 large flowers (for me and Todd), and 3 little ones (for my 2 big boys and the little one in the womb).

I had been getting somewhat strong contractions from about 38 weeks, which was not a surprise, as my 2nd was 2 weeks early, and, with all three of my pregnancies, I had Braxton Hicks contractions from about week 10 onward.  Each time I went in to the Dr, he'd show a bit of concern that Riley hadn't engaged yet (well, I knew that he'd had, he'd just moved back up each time), and actually started putting a bit of pressure on me, wanting to do a membrane sweep at 36 weeks.  He was concerned that Riley was getting too big - he thought that at 36 weeks he was about 7.5/8lbs, and he felt that doing a sweep would result in me going into labour in roughly 2 weeks (with an unripe cervix - OUCH!).  I held my ground on that - I felt that I'd birthed an almost 10 pounder, and a 9 pounder, I didn't NEED to go early.  I'm so glad I did.  

38 weeks

At 39w5d, Dr checked my cervix, and said that I wasn't ripe at all, and that I wouldn't be going into labour that weekend.  At 40w3d, I had my next appointment, and he said that I was ripe, but not dilated at all.  He expressed concern that because Riley hadn't engaged, that maybe his head was too big.  I told him that my first had a HUGE head at birth (40cm), and he came through my pelvis.  He said that he'd see me again on Monday (this was Weds), and at that point, he'd refer me to the Gyno for him to assess whether or not he felt that I could birth Riley naturally.  If not, then I would be scheduled for a c-section.


Well, to say that I was nervous is an understatement.  I felt SO many emotions, including frustration with myself, that I was allowing a dr to tell me something that I knew as false and not accurate (in MY situation).  After all this, I knew his concern stemmed from the fact that Riley wasn't engaged, but I ALSO knew that NEITHER of my two older boys fully engaged until labour either - that is the way that MY body works.


Now, I have to interject here to say that I am NOT anti-medicine.  I firmly believe, and KNOW, that the medical profession has saved many lives, and that c-sections are a necessity.  HOWEVER, I ALSO firmly believe that c-sections are a way to avoid liability and ensure that the medical profession has their collective ASS covered, and far far more c-sections happen every year than what are MEDICALLY NECESSARY.  I also know, based on MY OWN EXPERIENCE, that a "cascade of interventions" is NOT made up, or a fairy story - it is a REAL PHENOMENON that I have had the misfortune to experience.  I also know that for a low-risk mama, home birth is by far the best option for mama AND babe, and the entire family unit.  Pregnancy, labour and birth are not collectively a disease or syndrome that need to be treated.  They are collectively a biological, a physiological process that our bodies were designed to do... and the more we mess with it, the more messed up it becomes.  Getting back to the basics is the key to empowering future generations of mothers.


So, back to my story.  Wednesday, the 10th of November was the day that I last saw the Dr, and he was confident that he'd be seeing me on Monday, the 15th.  Friday the 12th, I woke up at 4am to my youngest son (oops, now my middle son!) crying because he'd had a bad dream.  I went to him and comforted him, and then tried to get back to sleep.  It took awhile, because my contractions (which felt like strong Braxton Hicks, nothing to get excited about) kind of kept me awake.  At 5.10ish, I woke up to a strong (real!) contraction, and after 2 of those, I started timing them at 5.26am.  They were still fairly distant (about 10 min or so), but enough for me to continue timing until 7ish.


I had gotten out of bed around 6.30am - I wasn't sure if I was in for a long labour or a short one, as I'd had one of each (49 hours and 4 hours), and I didn't want to keep hubby awake in case it was a long one.  I told him I was going downstairs, and that I'd holler if I needed him.  My boys got up to find mummy already awake (a RARITY!), and as a treat, they got to watch some Treehouse (preschool channel - another rarity, the tv is usually never on in the mornings!)... so they knew SOMETHING was up.  At this point, the contractions were strong, but not quite strong enough to cause pain, I just had to focus to get through each one.


I called my labour team around 7am - my girlfriends Carol, Jesse and Val - and told them not to rush, just have a shower, have breakie, and come over when they were done.  No rush, I was just plodding along.  (Jesse was my photographer, and Carol and Val would be there to help Todd with me, and with my two older boys, Xavier and Shannon.)  Jesse arrived around 7.30am, Val around 8.30am, and because Carol was at work, I told her that I'd call her when things kicked into gear.  At this stage, we started filling the Aquaborn pool, and realised that our hot water tank wasn't big enough to fill the pool... we ended up heating up pots of water on the stove to heat it up! :)

Boiling water to heat up the pool.

I went for a nap at around 10am, and slept through about half of the contractions, and fell back asleep right after the ones that woke me up.  Just after 11am, I got up, feeling great after my rest, and excited that things were starting to ramp up.    I called Carol to let her know that she could come over whenever - the contractions, whilst still not regular, were getting more intense, and I was ready to get into the pool.  By 11.30am, the pool was ready, and I was able to get in.

I hate pruney feet and hands! ;)

Me and my ducky thermometre.

Cushy walls of my Aquaborn pool were GREAT to rest on!

I knew that water would help with contractions, but like I said before, little did I know how well!  Instantly I got relief from the pressure in my back, and my contractions were just concentrated in my uterus.  I think that part of the reason why I get back labour is because I get BIG in pregnancy, and the contractions are spread throughout my entire core... but with the weightlessness of water?  BLISS.  Really.  Over the next 2 hours, I got out for 3 pee breaks.  Each time, I'd get caught out of the water with a contraction, and WOW, the difference was mind-boggling.  Stats say that immersion in water helps reduce pain during contractions by up to 50%, but I truly believe that figure is very conservative.  In my case, I'd have to say that the water took about 80% of my pain away - and I'm not exaggerating.  The exciting part of this, for me, is that I never "hit" transition.  I mean, obviously, I dilated from 7 to 10cm at SOME point, but I didn't get crazy or panicky, didn't get irritated by noise (like I did with my 2nd) or light or conversation.  Life was just peachy, and so long as no one spoke TO me during my contractions, whilst I was concentrating on the wave, I felt grand.

Shannon having a fun time in the pool with Mummy, during a contraction.

Ducky just chillin' with me. ;)

At 1.30pm, Todd and I discussed the hospital option.  I had only JUST started vocalising through the waves, and only just low moaning.  Consequently, he was still ok, not nervous at all, and he pointed out that my contractions were still quite erratic.  Something I attribute to the water - I feel that my body was much more efficient when contracting, so the contractions only got consistent for just over 20 minutes.  At this stage, I'd get 2 contractions a minute or two apart, only 30 seconds each, and then nothing for 6 minutes.  We were using contractionmaster.com to time my contractions.  It had been like this for the majority of the day, and it was only from about 11am that the intensity changed, not the frequency or duration - they remained erratic the whole time.  We decided to continue on at home, and re-evaluate in awhile.

My little thumb o_O ... don't worry, I didn't bite too hard.

At 1.35pm, I got the first of 7 REGULAR, consistent contractions.  They were between 55 and 65 seconds long, and 3 1/2 to 4 minutes apart.  At about 1.55pm, I had to take another pee break.  While I was out of the water, I got 3 HARD and FAST contractions, and while in the bathroom, I started to grunt, and feel pushy.  I reached down, and lo and behold, I could feel a squishy noggin.  (What I realised about 5 minutes later was actually my bag of water, with skull just past that.)  Todd said to Jesse "he's going to be here in about 15 to 20 minutes - we aren't going to the hospital now."  We got me back into the pool, which was a struggle, because the contractions were coming so fast and so hard, I needed the help to stand.  They were so intense that in between, I just needed to rest, and climbing over the side of the pool was no small feat!  At 2.02pm, I told the gals to stop timing, because he was coming, and there was no point in timing the spacing anymore.

Pushing out Riley's head - Todd was putting pressure on my perineum with a washcloth.

Riley's head coming out - still in his bag of water.

I leaned on the wall of the pool, and Todd put pressure on my perineum with a washcloth, while I maintained pressure on the front of my vagina, to give me some relief from the burning.  It took me about 5 pushes to get Riley's head out, and I DID have two moments of, not doubt, or fear, but more just, "damn, I need RELIEF from this!"  I thought at one point: "what the HELL was I thinking that I wanted to do this again?"  and I DID say to Todd: "I don't think I can do this."  His response was perfect, amazing, and a testament to how awesome my man is, DESPITE his lack of self-confidence, he really stepped up to the plate: "You CAN do this, and you ARE doing this.  You're doing awesome honey, you almost have his head out, you can do it baby!"  THAT was all I needed - support, belief and encouragement from my soul mate.  Riley's head was out at the next push, and then Todd continued to cheer me on, giving me the play by play: "ok D, his shoulders are almost out, just a couple more pushes, you're almost done!"  All told, my pushing was just over 20 minutes from when I FIRST started to feel grunty in the bathroom.

Xavier and Shannon looking on while Riley was being born.

At 2.22pm, Riley Morgan Galloway was born - in the water, en caul (in his bag of waters), caught by Daddy.  Present and watching in AWE at his birth were his two big brothers, Xavier and Shannon, and "Aunties" Carol, Jesse and Val.

Todd and I taking our first good look at Riley Morgan, our 3rd son.

Todd passed Riley through my legs to me, and I pulled open the membrane sac to pull Riley out, and onto my chest.  Todd and the girls were a bit... nervous, because of his colour, and the fact that he didn't scream or cry right away.  Riley just laid on my chest, grunting, gurgling, and making faces until he cleared out his airway (I helped a bit by putting my mouth over his nose and mouth and sucking to get some of the fluid out - I did this by instinct!)... and when he let out his first little cry, they breathed a sigh of relief.  I kept telling them it was ok, it's normal, but tv and movies have done such a good job of showing us that babies are pink, clean and dry, and screaming right out of mummy's womb, that it's hard to digest at first, unless, like me, you've seen a billion photos and youtube videos of birth.


After Riley was born, Todd called the hospital to find out when we should come in.  (I wanted to be checked for any tears, and really wanted to know how heavy Riley was.)  We were told to, instead of driving the 5 blocks to the hospital, call the paramedics for transport (ONLY) to the maternity ward.  They told us it'd be easier for us.  Whatever.  The medics came in, took over, and to make THAT long story short, they wouldn't let me eat or drink the second they walked in the door (not even water), they put a 16 gauge IV in me (I still, almost 3 weeks later, have the mark), wouldn't let me get dressed, or even let Todd grab me clothes (I went to the hospital in nothing but my wet sports bra and a blanket)... AND, wait for it... they made me stop breastfeeding Riley so they could MOVE me from my air mattress on the floor to the transport chair WITH my placenta HALF-DELIVERED.  (Yes, I'll be writing a letter of complaint about THAT one.)  The mat nurse was confused as to why I had an IV, why they tried their damndest to move me before delivering the placenta, and why they wouldn't allow me to eat or drink.  (I birthed Riley's placenta on my OWN, much to the paramedics' chagrin, at exactly half an hour after Riley was born - WELL within protocol.)  But, that was the only negative part of this story, and although it needs to be told, I'd rather continue on, and finish this novella.


We were only at the hospital for 4 hours.  I got checked and fed, Riley got checked and fed (boobies!), and we were discharged by 7pm.  The mat nurse, Tegwen, and her intern, as well as the nursery RN were just AWESOME.  I had only two tiny 1st degree tears, so no stitches, and although there was a piece of the placenta torn (probably due to being made to MOVE with it half hanging out of me!), it was complete.  Riley had a smidge of meconium in his hair (probably passed while he was on his way out), but then, my other two had it as well, so I wasn't concerned.  Riley was 4.912kg (10lb 13oz) and 56cm long (22"), with a head circumference of 37cm.  My labour was just under 9 hours long, with only half an hour of HARD labour, and then just over 20 minutes of pushing.

Riley having a feed at the hospital after being checked out.

I am so overjoyed that after all the adversity we'd faced, God had given me one of my heart's biggest desires - a home water birth, with NO COMPLICATIONS.  I believe that God's given me this passion in my heart to pass on to other women, and help them find the confidence they need to birth with conviction, courage, and strength.  I hope that women will be inspired by my journey - one from a birth with a cascade of interventions, to a natural hospital birth to a home water birth.  It was an amazing journey and one which I will never forget.

Riley Morgan (1 month, 1 week old)