The rule of thumb with habits, good and bad, is that it takes 40 days to make a new habit, or kill an old one.
That means forty days of being diligent, persistent, and conscientious of your actions. Paying attention. Being engaged with your own actions, and not just operating in a haze. (HA!)
I'm bringing up changing habits NOW because I LOATHE the whole "New Year's Resolutions" thing. I turn 33 this year, and I've wasted enough time in my life lamenting at how I wasn't able to keep up with my NYR this year, BUT NEXT YEAR!!!! Good gravy. I've been of the frame of mind, for about the last 7 or 8 years or so, that I don't do resolutions, per sé. I do GOALS. Why?
Because setting goals WORKS.
And my goal right now?
To change my habits.
I have a list the length of my leg of habits I'd like to change or develop, but since I'm the type of person, that in order to not get totally overwhelmed, then stressed, then have debilitating anxiety attacks, which THEN result in hideous depression - *breathe* - I have to take baby steps. So, because 90 days seems to be "THE THING" right now (P90X, Vitality for Life, etc), and yesterday was the 1st of February, I made a commitment to develop a couple of new habits, and to COMMIT to persistence and diligence and engagement with these habits for the next 90 days. That will take me to 30 April, 2012. (I will then be 33. :D) Because, realistically, I know for me, 40 days? Probably not enough. Besides. GO BIG OR GO HOME. ;) And changing a couple of actions for 90 days seems like a good enough baby step for me.
I'm really excited to see what 2012 holds for our family. We have faced some MASSIVE adversity and challenges as a family, financially, emotionally, physically, you name it, over the last 4 years most specifically. And I personally have battled for years with stress/anxiety, depression, and most related to being a housewife: inadequacy. I LOGICALLY know that these feelings are bunk, but feelings don't have to make sense. And I know that logically, in order to deal with them, I need to address my actions - and create new habits. Hence, I'm changing habits.
I'm going to be posting in the coming weeks about my commitment, in addition to other things, and I'd love to hear what kind of things that you have committed to - either now or in the past. What things have you battled with in your commitment? What challenges have you faced to keeping those commitments?
Cheers,
Dinnae ;)
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
02 February 2012
28 February 2011
Growing, teething! OH, and a marriage seminar.
So, this adorable little bubba that I birthed less than 4 months ago is growing... and yes, teething.
His poor poor rosy cheeks from all that drool!
Teething means rough sleeps... and yeah, he's a baby, so theoretically, I should ALWAYS be having rough sleeps, right? WRONG. This bubba has blessed us in the way that our first bubba did too - he was already sleeping through the night when the stuffiness/teething began.
Yes, I know, you hate me. But HEY, in my defense, our 2nd little man, Shannon, didn't sleep through the night until he was over a year, so I've been there, done that too.
So back to Riley. Stuffed up, not sleeping well due to teething, AND, wait for it, he's ALSO to the point that I think he's wanting to get into regular naps, not just in between feeds, but real naps (= grumpy child until he's used to that). That's good, actually that's GREAT, but transitions are hard. I love this little monkey so much, but as the days go by, I'm getting more and more sure that I agree with the big man in my life, that we're done. Three little munchkins who light up my world are good enough for this family.
My big boys need and deserve some consistency in their lives, and if we keep introducing little ones, that consistency is a far way off. Ri doesn't have a schedule, meaning the big boys don't really either, which is hard for them. They're both learning to tell time, which means that they want to be able to tell when it's snack time, when it's lunch time, when it's time for a bath, etc. It's fun, and I want to keep it fun. But it's hard to do that when I keep changing the times associated with those activities when I have a baby who needs to go down (add 20 minutes), who needs a feed (add 20 minutes), or maybe who needs a bum/clothing change (add 3 to 5 minutes). And I can't exactly keep Ri to the boys' schedule - when a baby needs to eat, poop, sleep, they need to do it NOW. And while the big boys may be learning how to tell time, they still don't get the concept of "in 5 minutes," or "in half an hour." On that note, I'm getting better at telling them "when the clock says 12:10pm, it's lunch time" instead of just saying, "sorry, honey, not right now."
Now, marriage seminar.
Don't think "BORING!" Really, don't. 'Cause it wasn't! Our church put on a marriage seminar called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor. It was absolutely, mind-blowingly AWESOME. I laughed so hard my face hurt, I cried, and I learned so much. And Todd had just as much fun - really, he did!
It is a "Christian" curriculum, but as Mark states in the first session: "I'm not going to beat you over the head with the Bible." The curriculum is great for anyone, even atheists, and although he makes a couple Bible references, and references to God, he truly doesn't beat you over the head with the Bible. Mark makes the serious topics fun and easy to learn about, and he gave us all so many "aha!" moments.
The church did it up nice too. We got lunch and dinner on Saturday, and they even had candles going during dinner. After each of the 4 sessions, they gave out a "prize" that we all voted on who deserved it, depending on the category. T and I got a prize for the "least romantic honeymoon." (We went snowboarding with friends, and I was sick, so spent the entire weekend on my own in the chalet while T was out on the slopes. While it was kind of relaxing for me, I got to crochet and read, etc, and it was fun for Todd, it wasn't romantic in the least.)
This program was so paradigm-changing, that I truly think that this program should be in the highschools. Well, not as a marriage seminar, but definitely covering the topics he did, like waiting for marriage for sex (which I didn't do, but wish I had), how boys and girls think differently, how we operate differently, and how KEY sex is to a healthy marriage. Yes, he said it. He didn't say it was just important, he said it was probably THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT to a successful marriage. There was so much to be absorbed from this weekend, and I could seriously post for days about it, but I'll leave some surprise to it for you. Find it, and do it - whether you go to a weekend put on by your local church, or you buy the dvds online (on their site, $59.99).... make it a priority.
Another busy, but oh so fun weekend... and I wonder why time flies so stinkin' fast???? We're off for an ENT specialist appointment for Xavier's tonsils this week, as well as my niece's THIRD birthday, oh, and then it's the weekend again. :D So much to do, and so little time.
Hugs,
D.
His poor poor rosy cheeks from all that drool!
Teething means rough sleeps... and yeah, he's a baby, so theoretically, I should ALWAYS be having rough sleeps, right? WRONG. This bubba has blessed us in the way that our first bubba did too - he was already sleeping through the night when the stuffiness/teething began.
Yes, I know, you hate me. But HEY, in my defense, our 2nd little man, Shannon, didn't sleep through the night until he was over a year, so I've been there, done that too.
So back to Riley. Stuffed up, not sleeping well due to teething, AND, wait for it, he's ALSO to the point that I think he's wanting to get into regular naps, not just in between feeds, but real naps (= grumpy child until he's used to that). That's good, actually that's GREAT, but transitions are hard. I love this little monkey so much, but as the days go by, I'm getting more and more sure that I agree with the big man in my life, that we're done. Three little munchkins who light up my world are good enough for this family.
My big boys need and deserve some consistency in their lives, and if we keep introducing little ones, that consistency is a far way off. Ri doesn't have a schedule, meaning the big boys don't really either, which is hard for them. They're both learning to tell time, which means that they want to be able to tell when it's snack time, when it's lunch time, when it's time for a bath, etc. It's fun, and I want to keep it fun. But it's hard to do that when I keep changing the times associated with those activities when I have a baby who needs to go down (add 20 minutes), who needs a feed (add 20 minutes), or maybe who needs a bum/clothing change (add 3 to 5 minutes). And I can't exactly keep Ri to the boys' schedule - when a baby needs to eat, poop, sleep, they need to do it NOW. And while the big boys may be learning how to tell time, they still don't get the concept of "in 5 minutes," or "in half an hour." On that note, I'm getting better at telling them "when the clock says 12:10pm, it's lunch time" instead of just saying, "sorry, honey, not right now."
Now, marriage seminar.
Don't think "BORING!" Really, don't. 'Cause it wasn't! Our church put on a marriage seminar called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor. It was absolutely, mind-blowingly AWESOME. I laughed so hard my face hurt, I cried, and I learned so much. And Todd had just as much fun - really, he did!
It is a "Christian" curriculum, but as Mark states in the first session: "I'm not going to beat you over the head with the Bible." The curriculum is great for anyone, even atheists, and although he makes a couple Bible references, and references to God, he truly doesn't beat you over the head with the Bible. Mark makes the serious topics fun and easy to learn about, and he gave us all so many "aha!" moments.
The church did it up nice too. We got lunch and dinner on Saturday, and they even had candles going during dinner. After each of the 4 sessions, they gave out a "prize" that we all voted on who deserved it, depending on the category. T and I got a prize for the "least romantic honeymoon." (We went snowboarding with friends, and I was sick, so spent the entire weekend on my own in the chalet while T was out on the slopes. While it was kind of relaxing for me, I got to crochet and read, etc, and it was fun for Todd, it wasn't romantic in the least.)
This program was so paradigm-changing, that I truly think that this program should be in the highschools. Well, not as a marriage seminar, but definitely covering the topics he did, like waiting for marriage for sex (which I didn't do, but wish I had), how boys and girls think differently, how we operate differently, and how KEY sex is to a healthy marriage. Yes, he said it. He didn't say it was just important, he said it was probably THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT to a successful marriage. There was so much to be absorbed from this weekend, and I could seriously post for days about it, but I'll leave some surprise to it for you. Find it, and do it - whether you go to a weekend put on by your local church, or you buy the dvds online (on their site, $59.99).... make it a priority.
Another busy, but oh so fun weekend... and I wonder why time flies so stinkin' fast???? We're off for an ENT specialist appointment for Xavier's tonsils this week, as well as my niece's THIRD birthday, oh, and then it's the weekend again. :D So much to do, and so little time.
Hugs,
D.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
